for the first time in 2 years, i had a REAL CHEESE (sorry, goat) today...LACTOSE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.lifetimecheese.com/products/LactoseFree.html is also a good link :)

Psalm 5

Lead Me in Your Righteousness

To the choirmaster: for the flutes. A Psalm of David.

Give ear to my words, O LORD; consider my groaning. Give attention to the sound of my cry, my King and my God, for to you do I pray. O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch. For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you. The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers. You destroy those who speak lies; the LORD abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man. But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love, will enter your house. I will bow down toward your holy temple in the fear of you. Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies; make your way straight before me. For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction; their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue. Make them bear their guilt, O God; let them fall by their own counsels; because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out, for they have rebelled against you. But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.

i am truly blessed. as i walked around my good ol' neighborhood this morning, i had the sense of calm, sense of being blessed beyond i can ever want or need. the basic necessities of life has been granted by God and i am so thankful. praise praise god!

The trip was fun.

i vandalized the golden gate bridge by writing on the bridge: under the word CHRIST:

Steve

Jessica

Clara

June 2008

then onto the monterey bay aquarium to admire many of god's creations (in this instance, jellyfish)

then admired more of His Works at Monterey - the Lone Cypress. breathtaking.

i'm slowly getting excited about San Francisco/San Jose.

i'm excited that there's a possibility of me getting reacquainted with my friends Johanny and Fréd in that sunny state. (i'll have to bring some of them with me, if that's the case.)

:) :) :) :)

maybe i'm a cold person but i really don't understand this outpouring of love, etc. for the late tim russert. yes, he was fabulous. he seemed like a real genuine person.

but seriously, nothing else to cover? that, and tiger's knee surgery?

and i can't stand to read the newspaper these days. i don't know why, but i just want to escape from it all. i suspended my nytimes subscription for the next 2 weeks, only to revive after the 4th of july. and i'm giving my ipod a rest too.

Alex Fletcher: It doesn't have to be perfect. Just spit it out. They're just lyrics.
Sophie Fisher: "Just lyrics"?
Alex Fletcher: Lyrics are important. They're just not as important as melody.
Sophie Fisher: I really don't think you get it.
Alex Fletcher: Oh. You look angry. Click your pen.
Sophie Fisher: A melody is like seeing someone for the first time. The physical attraction. Sex.
Alex Fletcher: I so get that.
Sophie Fisher: But then, as you get to know the person, that's the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It's the combination of the 2 that makes it magical.

this is a dialogue i remember from Music & Lyrics.

i so get it.

greetings from the mile-high city.

it is balmy and breezy without a hint of humidity, currently around 85 degrees. such a huge difference from home.

things are not going well - too many screw-ups by shipping companies so we're missing 4000 magazines. not a pretty sight to be around the grumpy londoners.

but, i was alone this morning, doing errands for the convention and i was thankful that last night's meeting was not confrontational and that we had a relaxing time greeting one another.

desperate times need desperate prayers. please pray for this week - that all will go smoothly. magazines to arrive tomorrow morning by FedEx. sigh. more expenses.

i probably won't have the time to enjoy anything, except to gaze from afar the magnificent mountains.

denver has some memories for me. i was here about 4 years ago serving a short-term mission, helping the homeless (due to the mild-nature of the weather year-around, there are high number of homeless FAMILIES around here). it was a lot of work, but a fruitful one.

this convention will be a lot of work, but not sure if it'll be fruitful, at least personally.

2 days down, 5 to go.

this does NOT work. i tried to be environmentally friendly. it does not work.

this works the best. do not buy others!

in Philly no less!

i cannot imagine the pull of the "tree of good and evil" for eve and adam. i cannot imagine what kind of temptation it had through the serpent. i don't even know if adam and eve knew of the FEAR of the lord, on listening and acting upon the serpent's temptation.

what i do know are my own temptations: temptation to be irritable, temptation to be impatient, temptation to blow-up, temptation to just move on, temptation to do all things ungodly.

david powlison said this:

You have been given God's grace and commanded by your Lord Jesus to give grace to all others. Whether married or single, male or female, child or parent, employee or boss, you live within a mutuality: one church, members of one body, brothers and sisters to one answer. You are a we. You are called to be patient, and constructive in every relationship....[everyone] ought to communicate openly, drawing on each other for help and perspective, seeking to understand and encourage each other, repenting of the sins that interfere. No superiority, no double standards.

this is super hard. It is so unhuman.

yet there are so many bodily references in the bible, among others, in Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12 and in Ephesians 4. it is told again and again that we are one in christ, one in each other, to love and respect and blah blah blah blah blah blah.

this is super duper hard. it is a true challenge.

i just wish that god had provided us with physical stress ball to throw, squeeze, and smash on. ARGH!

random thoughts:

i have many men in my life. father, brother, brothers in christ, nephew (plus 1 more coming in October), boss, teachers/pastors, students, etc.

i have many women in my life too, yet it seems that only men seek my ear often, especially of late.

especially lately, my heart has been burdened to pray for the men in my life.

today, i connected with a brother in christ in korea (serving in the military) via skype. it's been awhile. and him telling me of his life, it puts everything in perspective.

god is good to me. he gives me clarity and comfort through all situations.

and thank God for my men in my life.

today was a good day. in fact, this past week was amazing.

as of last monday, i felt so overwhelmed by all the (work) responsibilities, i decided to take a break from chatting, facebooking, blogging, and e-mailing. it was a decision made with a glad heart, and i am thankful for god's hand in my discernment and that it was indeed a wise one.

i've been at my job 11 years now (in fact, the tuesday after the memorial day is my work anniversary) and with that comes not only stability and thankfulness, but also frustration and impatience. this week, in order to prepare for my june denver trip, i've been working..furiously. yes, i actually use that word, as i felt like an overworked engine, frequently having to water (in my human case, junk food) the overheated engine (= brain). had i continued with my daily chattings, facebookings and such, i would've been unable to concentrate so fully on the job. i'm known as the queen of multitasking (not a princess, but a QUEEN) and i just had to admit to myself, something had to give this week. i apologize to all my friends for having "ditched them" for full 5-6 days!

but what a blessing it was and i am still fueled by that blessing. today after jetting from the sunday school, i went to a lecture by ron choong titled "the triune god: the god who is one."

i didn't expect to hear the name aristotle in a talk about the triunity of god. but how appropriate it was to learn about the kατηγορίαι katēgoriai, gregory of nyssa and why monotheism/unitarianism and tritheism are different (and wrong). there's not an easy way to explain all this. i highly encourage you all to read up on this!

** picture is taken by my bro on a beach of my sis-in-law and nephew. beauty of god and his creation is so evident in this yet...

today, i braved the supersoaker and went to barney's to sample rogan for target @ barney's.

and i was about 6 hrs too late.

all the goodies were gone. i asked a saleswoman (FYI: barney's is really incredible when it comes to the sales staff. i've shopped in different departments - when i can afford certain items - over the years and i've always had friendliest waitstaff there. they're incredibly efficient and helpful!) who empathized with me. Said "yeah, people were lined up outside of the store this morning at 9 AM. i'm afraid all normal sizes are gone" - that meant mostly L or XLs were left. people were scrambling like there's no tomorrow (think of a very messy scrambled egg cooking on your pan and you'll understand the feeling). i quickly just grabbed whatever i could and then retreated into a corner ("can i get a dressing room?" "yes, let's find one...here it is!" - again, so freakishly friendly) and tried them all on - and i didn't like any, except a pair of really cool black - leopard-print - jeans. she said "all the really cute dresses were gone by 9:30 AM." darn it! freakish NY shoppers!!!!

anyway, i scored - $39.99 for the jeans. not too shabby, i must say!

i am thankful this week.

i am thankful for beautiful weather god's given us - even though it's cloudy & rainy today, it's beautiful. thank you for your all your creation.

i am thankful for the consistency of my job and its environs. thank you for providing for me always.

i am thankful for my church's projects and its servants. thank you for guiding us.

i am thankful for the struggles of this week - i am totally lost on what friendship is all about. i am lost trying to reconcile that of god's word and that of this world in terms of how one should act and react.

i am thankful for his comforting words in romans 12 and 1 corinthians 12.

i am thankful that i know that i will grow after struggles. one of my fav verses:

...but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

thank you for the hope.

Thrice, you rock. Thanks for the great time yesterday.

i was searching on my gmail account to see if i had any old links pasted in e-mails or chats to give to someone at my church re: some cool church websites as a model for ours.

then i came across and e-mail i wrote to a friend on january 9, 2006:

<<my daily communication with God for the last 4-5 months have been sporatic cries of "why is this happening to this church? please help us." (FOR CONTEXT: i was at a church that was dying) for the last month, i have hardly spoken to Him. i feel so dry & tired. i need SUPPORT. i need bible study, i need fellowship with believers, i need small group, i need the church that will be able to supply it ALL for me, however greedy i am! while i'm tired & sad, i am also on the verge of excitement that i'll find a new church and that it'll be an exciting time for me, a dormant SeaPea to really once again learn & be of help to a church and of course, most of all, to myself. >>

it got me sooooo happy that God heard my cries! :)

i have many friends in their 20's who are single. i have almost none in the 30's.

i thought about how i felt in my early 20's:

• i wanted bf really badly. that's all i wanted. i'd play cool, but the bottom line was, i wanted a bf.
• i really wanted to look good for the opposite sex. i worked hard for it: worked out, watched my diet, made sure i was all "in" and "cute" in terms of latest fashion, gadgets, etc.
• i used to take baths - just for no reason and prolly cuz i had so much time to waste.
• i wanted to be rich and impress people.
• i knew of christ - but i wasn't his.

now, i'm semi-mature in my 30's, here's my advice to all my young friends:

• it's okay to want a bf or a gf. just don't try to make an idol out of that (i know you can't help it, but pray for discernment...and with help controlling your hormones!). and just because you're a devout christian does not immune you from sexual urges - so be aware. awareness is a key to understanding temptations.
• beauty is so fleeting - and the standard of beauty changes constantly. have your own standard of beauty. how does s/he look to you when they're out drinking and partying? how does s/he look to you when they're worshipping and be glorified in god?
• it's okay to be want to become rich. just don't try to focus on that goal solely and god will provide - so you won't be destitute etc. ambition is an admirable thing, i think, because that comes with discipline. if you have the discipline to be ambitious, you have the discipline to follow christ
• have friends who are older than you (perhaps not wiser than you, as they're still learning too) and try to listen and follow their advice. it's not in vain that they give their voices to you

i had a grown woman, in her 50's, who friended to me in my freshman year of school and she still is, perhaps not as close as before. but she invited me to her house, had me interact with her family, and she gave me some practical advice, but since she wasn't a christian, she didn't guide me with christ's words. but even that was such a blessing to me, a 17/18 year old girl in a city who didn't know anybody. so with fondness i remember of her kindness as i try to open my life to my young friends.

wouldn't it be great if we always listened to the wise and the older? by the time we usually realize this, we're in our 50's, 60's. we human beings are too proud, too self-sufficient. i hope my young friends will take advantage of their fellow (but older) brothers and sisters at church to ask questions and to ask advice. that's what a real community's for.

i am finally able to sit down one night and write about my 2 trips to other churches in the last couple of weeks.

first, surprisingly i found a church in utrecht, netherlands. yes, i was in that lovely small town of canals and such and good ol' google netherlands found me an english speaking church that just happened to be an anglican one!

it's called the Holy Trinity Utrecht Anglican Church. i went on April 6th, the day i was leaving the netherlands. it wasn't hard to find - thanks to good ol' google map on my blackberry (yes, it's quite international!).

i had high hopes for this church. but it completely failed.

i just wanted to worship and be in God's presence. but what do i get? i get the following:

• some hymns (okay, an okay start)


• a prayer of penitence:
  Jesus Christ, risen Master and triumphant Lord, we come to you in sorrow for our sins, and confess to you our weakness and unbelief. We have lived by our own strength, and not by the power of your resurrection. In your mercy, forgive us. Lord, hear us and help us. We have lived by the light of our own eyes, as faithless and not believing. In your mercy, forgive us. Lord, hear us and help us. We have lived for this world alone, and doubted our home in heaven. In your mercy, forgive us. Lord, hear us and help us. May the God of love and power forgive you and free you from your sins, heal and strengthen you by his Spirit, and raise you to new life in Christ our Lord. Amen.


• we listened to some reading from Acts 2


• and then came on the program called "the Talk.
  it should actually be called "an interactive 3 min conversation." suddenly, one of the musicians rose - who was wearing the collar - and started to converse with us in the pews! and he pointed to the stained glasses telling us to observe what has happened during Easter and asked questions. and that was it.
  
• declaration of faith:
  We believe in God the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named. We believe in God the Son, who lives in our hearts through faith, and fills us with his love. We believe in God the Holy Spirit, who strengthens us with power from on high. We believe in one God; Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

(btw, i'm getting all these from the church of england website)

• anyhoo, then communion, from which EVERYBODY drank from the wine cup! i dipped mine. shudder.


• THEN!!!! it said in the program "the president pronounces the Blessings." and i was like huh? well, they literally said "Happy birthday Annie! Happy birhday Jonnie!" etc. - except they SANG the HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS SO NOT RIGHT! i was flabbergasted. SO STRANGE!
  

then...the benediction. just so so strange. if i ever go back to utrecht for some biz, i'm not going back there. i just left there literally scratching my head and not at all in commune with God! hmph.

a couple of weeks ago, a thousands miles away from utrecht, i attended a PCUSA church in Franklin, TN, because i was visiting my old church's pastor's family who had relocated to there. it's called the crossroads ministry and it's relatively young. thank the lord that they didn't sing happy birthday. what the heck!??! i still can't get over it. anyway, it was a nice service and all (but no communion :(...) but...the point of this blog is to say...

I REALLY MISSED MY CHURCH! even though i was back this past weekend, i couldn't attend the service due to my commitment to the sunday school. and i'll be missing it again this coming weekend because i'm going to visit my fav (and only) nephew's 2nd birthday. here's the latest photo.


GOD BLESS!

i was looking at this link and then this...

am i crazy? this is NUTS! (see the bold text below)

Voting
One of the most important privileges of democracy in the United States of America is the right to participate in choosing elected officials through voting. As a Permanent Resident you can only vote in local and state elections that do not require you to be a US citizen. It is very important that you do not vote in national, state or local elections that require a voter to be a US citizen when you are not a US citizen. There are criminal penalties for voting when you are not a US citizen and it is a requirement for voting. You can be removed (deported) from the US if you vote in elections limited to US citizens.

what the heck?? so if i made a mistake of voting and then they're like HOW DARE YOU VOTE, YOU'RE NOT EVEN A CITIZEN, YOU OFFEND US, NOW YOU MUST LEAVE!!!!

greetings from franklin, TN where all i've been doing a) talking and b) eating. today's lunch hi-lite: cracker barrel's Chicken BLT ("Your choice of our own chicken tenderloin grilled or fried along with thick sliced bacon and two slices of melting Colby cheese.") - of course, mine was w/o the cheese nor tomato. YUM!!!!! i never thought fried chicken & strips of bacon would go so well. and then afterwards, we toured the "downtown" nashville...i say "downtown" because it's even smaller than astoria, queens....yess'um, it shure is...
BBQ tomorrow, so stay tuned!
P.S. today's touristic hi-lite: posing with elvis