i've started to teach 2 new students about a month ago.

one is a 80 year old woman, who has a mild dementia and a horrible back pain. her neurosurgeon suggested that she either take piano or chess. she chose the former as she knows how to read music.

the other is a 7 year old girl, who has a major speech impediment, mostly due to mild retardation. her parents didn't say anything about her being "handicapped," but by now, it's quite obvious.

with these two, i'm struggling. with the dementia, the OW (older woman) is constantly forgetting where she is. not only that, she mixes her hands so she sometimes plays the clefs mixed(!!!!) - so right hand is playing the bass clef and the left is, etc. the very first lesson, i was in my "teaching mode," very straightforward, but i quickly realized that's just hurting her - even though the hurt is very momentary, due to her short-term memory problems. so i've begun to coax her, as if i'm cajoling a little kid to behave well just for the moment, so that later that kid can get sweets. i'm really wondering if this really does have any effects? i know that oliver sacks has worked and documented extensively on brain & music works, but i'm a bit helpless here.

the girl is very enthusiastic about piano lessons as i teach her as if i'm teaching a 3 year old. she's unable to read yet so even learning the note's names (7 alphabets) is a tremendously challenging. and (i'm guessing) due to her retardation, physically, her fingers are unruly. i don't know if and when this condition will go away. i don't expect her verbal skills to improve but perhaps physical impediments will not get used to playing the piano as well.

i need lots of prayers!

went to a small group leader/teaching leadership meeting. i had gotten there impulsively when a friend told me i should attend.

well, it was daunting. and i have to be honest: i don't find many things daunting as i don't usually go out of my usual comfort zones. but this was outside of it and to learn that leading a small group is not that of a group leader but actually in a pastoral/teacher role...yikes. i'm a good piano teacher, but a BIBLE TEACHER? when that day happens, jesus will be with us.

but i guess there's a reason why i went and i will trudge along...

it has come to my attention tonight that the ridgebacks (dogs) have...ridged backs!!! so basically, the fur on their sides grow soft in one way and suddenly on the TOP of the dog goes the other way...so it's ridged...WHAT A CRAZY IDEA! YET THERE IT IS!!!! i was bowled over. amazing. how did god create such creatures? did noah have a pair of them in the ark? or is this the result of cross-breeding/pairing/mating? fascinating!

wait, i wonder if us human beings also have "ridgebacks" too....hrm.

watched Julie & Julia with a bunch of girls on sunday. it was very amusing and also touching at the time. of course, mistress meryl brought all that and more - a true entertainment.

was looking through my tattered copy of the Joy of Cooking book last night as i have a friend to entertain next week (thinking of doing ratatouille with pasta) and an overwhelming feeling of wanting to "play housewife" pervaded me. right now i'm so focused on finding my future re: being a piano teacher, i'm not listening or thinking or feeling any others yet here it is - the quintessential "womanly" feeling coming out. instead of wrinkles on the face, perhaps this is the true sign of getting older - wanting to create a homey environment for oneself.

i wonder if eve ever felt wanting to be 'homey' - certainly she had NO TIME to do so, as she had to assit adam, dealing with simple livelihood of just LIVING and SURVIVING. perhaps she was contemplating being homey when the snake tempted her. i must be on my guard.

yes, i greedily look at le creuset collection...

it's been awhile! i thought i was going to leave this forever, ditching in favor of social media but ahem, twitter is not doing it for me. so i shall be back periodically....with more ranting & ravings as usual.

over and out

hello from london! too busy to blog, even before this trip and now it's too busy to even go to sleep, let alone blog!

me thinketh me short bloggin' life is @ its end. perhaps one day i'll come back from a long trip, but now with so many social media that gets updated every second (thanks twitter), it's no use trying to sit down and put down a thought when i'm not even a scholar of any sort.

so so long for now!

it's been awhile! had a thought today on twitter.

i twit. but i find it very unsatisfying. first of all, i find it very limiting. i can understand its attraction yet, ulimately, i think it's very unchristian in its core.

here's why i think it:

1. it promotes instant _____ (gratification, result, news, etc.): now, we know we all live it, talk it, walk it - all to be instant but i think twittering just keeps promoting this incessant need to update, to see what's going on. i mean, don't we do that enough already on facebook?

2. it's all about you...and what YOU like. it doesn't have a broad appeal as a website, or yes, again, facebook. because it's run on keywords, your interest, you only seek out those who you want to befriend for your purpose. there's no getting to know process, because as mentioned in #1, it's just instant - instant update, instant "-ship" with another.

thirdly, i think it just promotes dead time. yes, i can say that about blogging, surfing the web, facebooking, but because you have to limit everything to 140 characters, you actually have to concentrate, think, and then write cleverly (lest others see your BLAH-comments - who'd want to follow you??) - all again, mental energy.

so i vote NO to twitter!

the ides of march has passed safely (and with lots of laughter & discussions, actually) and now we're pulling into the end of march. hrm. time sure flies.  it's almost too much going on to even scribe any! one day, we shall have a facebook or blog or whatever that can live-stream your thoughts...how chaotic would THAT be? and would people really want to know, if i'm suddenly hungry, or annoyed, or happy, or satisfied, all within 10 minutes?

okay that was just totally random.

Queensboro Bridge was my means of commute this morning.

Last night, I decided to walk to work - it seemed like a logical idea - the forecast showed a reasonable temperature and I've been meaning to walk on bridges for some time.

So armed with a good walking shoes, warm enough coat, and one hour of music (U2, Death Cab for Cutie, Linkin Park) as well as the noise-cancelling headphone (a must! think of all that traffic on the bridge), I started off on my exactly 3 mile walk to work.

8:07 AM - Left the Apt door and walked to the bridge, along the Northern Blvd. Approaching the bridge, I saw this whacked sign but oh-so-NY:

8:30 AM - I now approached the entrance to the pedestrian way at the Queensboro Bridge

It looked SO FAR OFF....
Almost at the top!
Now, finally going down...

8:55 AM - I touched down to the end of the bridge and took this photo, facing Roosevelt Island/Queens:

9:07 AM - arrived at my desk @ work.

Next bridge: either Brooklyn or Williamsburg!

it's been almost a year since my last foray into the "unknown" - trying to explore the areas near (and sometimes slightly far) me. now having lived in the greater NYC area since 1991, i just thought it's time that i get my butt outta my comfy couch on weekends and really do some sightseeing. i mean, who knows? perhaps i won't always live in nyc and then...i would've missed it all!

this weekend was my trip to flushing. yes, i've been there many a time yet never explored other ways to get there (aside from the number 7 train and by car). so i decided to explore the Q66 bus (which happen to also stop right in front of my apt).

but since i was a bit lazy on sunday, i decided to go by the 7 train first, then come back into astoria on the bus.

this is the 7 train station at the Roosevelt-Jackson Heights stop (this is where i transfer from my R/V/G line) - what a glorious day it was yesterday!

and by the shea stadium stop...on the left is the old shea stadium and now the new CITI stadium is going up (gone up?)...and you can see the debris from the old stadium in between. a bit sad, even if i wasn't such a Mets fan

arrived in flushing in about 15 min - yes, a very short ride and first destination was the Flushing Library (it's singularly the largest branch library in NYC area - it's part of the Queens Library, not New York Public Library). Quite modern, isn't it? I believe it's about 4 years old.  It's right in the smack of Flushing.

then i sauntered into get a taste of what the "largest branch library" had to offer me. This is a sample of the Korean/Chinese shelves - pretty crazy!

i consider somewhat of a library connoisseur (if there's such thing) and i was bitterly disappointed by my first destination in flushing. there were hardly any new fictions or paperbacks. disappointed and now hungry, i headed back out to main street to sample some local cuisine.

there are no pictures of the street food, as there were about thousands of people milling about, pushing to-and-fro and i would've been out of my mind to take my camera out and take pictures. it was as if i was instantly transported to the streets of Beijing or Shanghai. (Flushing used to be quite a Korea town...now the Chinese have taken over, pushing out the Koreans to the western LI area, such as Bayside, Great Neck, etc.) so i decided to head to a somewhat familiar place for a quick bite: tai pan bakery on main street (i've been to tai pan on canal in the city, but never had the time to grace the flushing branch one until sunday). i chose to sample a "Spam and Eggs sandwich":

YUM! the saltiness of SPAM and gooeyness of eggs went perfectly together on a freshly baked (and now toasted) bread. Now it was either time to explore further or to go back home to see the Northern Blvd that connects Flushing to Long Island City (via lower-east Astoria, where I live). I pushed about (well, "when in rome"...you know?) and really, aside from the smattering of chinese groceries, everything was the same sight as manhattan: a billion Duane Reades, Starbuck's, McDonald's, etc. so i decided to fold and take the bus home.

Q 66 is the bus! and now i was on board with camera ready to document any fun/weird/strange/awesome things on Northern Blvd.

Of course, the first stop it made was in front of this school:

and then another stop in front of this yummy looking (but decidedly ethnic) bakery where all these hispanic women were gathered together for their weekly/daily/monthly get-togethers (i'm only guessing)

and another stop going west, stopped by this store...frisby? what the heck is this? looks like a chain but it's nothing i've ever heard of?

and you know you're in the 'burbs when you see an old american classic as IHOP!

and...that was my trip. Northern Blvd was really uninteresting (someone told me this prior to my trip but i didn't believe her....). the trip from flushing to my place was about 45 min by this bus and suffice to say, it was not a good 45 min spent, but now i know.

next trip? i don't know...i may try to walk on bridges, as i have yet to walk on the George Washington Bridge and Brooklyn Bridge. and i live so close to the 59th street bridge, I should walk it too (although I did walk that bridge twice, fleeing from 9/11 and the Blackout).

Any suggestions?

my new best friend:
now i am able to have GRILLED CHEESE sandwiches...or even make "pizza'!!!!!!!!!!!

i had to look for redeemer's website (even though i kinda knew what it was, i just wanted to make sure by googling it) and this is the first hit on google:

redeemer.com

Ministry of Tim Keller in New York City. Online audio and other resources.
www.redeemer.com/ - 35k - Cached - Similar pages

THAT IS SO WRONG! "Ministry of Tim Keller?" They should say "Ministry led by Pastor Tim Keller." They've got to stop idolizing him!

SO. NOT. A. FAN. OF. THAT. CHURCH. HMPH.

i give up being the (wrong) sister to the "i'm always right" brother.

i'm amazed at mothers. i don't know how they do it. most of the times, i don't get them...how they're able to function, etc but a lot of the times i'm amazed at their restraint & gentleness.

gentleness is one of the fruit of the spirit which i struggle mightily with. i've been praying for gentleness for quite some time now (it's almost going to be a decade soon!) and i don't know if that'll ever happen. but i know all things are possible with God, so i have faith in THAT regard. however, being the sinful person I am, i highly doubt that i can really change! (oh the vicious circle of sinful human mind...)

for instance, i had to learn patience through dealing with piano students. yet i'm still impatient. i see a mother who admonishes her child but with gentleness and it's totally foreign to me. i don't know if i'd ever LEARN to be gentle? quite honestly, i think i'd be a horrible mother, fun at times but also screaming a lot of times. i don't know, it's all so hard.

it's all very daunting.

does this fall under faithfulness as well? faithful that all things will please god? will i be a pleasing mother?

wait a minute, i'm so FAR from being a mother, it's just not even worth considering, but i can't help but to consider. it's not that i WANT to be a mother - i'm just...AMAZED! sometimes...it's scary!

it's been awhile since i posted, and that means it's a 'fess up time.

this holiday season has been a very HUMBLING one (see the pix?) - i've been "stuffing" myself with many, MANY pieces of (humble) pie...

it's because of my Christ, i am able to forego my pride & ego and eat as MANY humble pies as possible!

so thanks lord Jesus for your unbelievable faith in me and giving me lots of...HUMBLE PIE!

Day 3 in the Beantown (as well as other days):

5 AM (6 AM on a good day): wake up by a 2.5 year old, jumping up and down
5: 01 AM - give him Yogurt
5:02 AM - watch any of the following in any order:
curious george
martha speaks
listen to either Mendelssohn violin concerto or Tchaikovsky violin concerto
5:45 AM - he starts whining "mama" in that drawn out voice and rattles the gates separating the living room and the bedroom hallway
6:00 AM - groggy parents are up, with the newborn (ironically, the newborn never seem to wake up!)
6:02 AM - my turn to "relax" a bit - go to the bathroom (finally) and grab a quick bite

from then on, it's "let's go crazy" mode mixed in with "let's tire the 2.5 year old boy ASAP" mode, mixed with lots of diaper changes (which he hates), interspersed with very bad POOPY diapers!

then lunch, preparing & feeding

then naptime for the 2.5 year old - which means, time for me to:

1. laundry
2. clean up & unload the dishwasher from the previous night
3. finally sit down & watch a movie and/internet
4. about to relax, then 2.5 year old is up!

then we have to do that "let's go crazy and tire him out at the same time" mode until dinner time

then around dinner time,

1. prepare the pajama
2. layout towels
3. prepare bath for him and get toys lined up as well as the diaper
4. coax him to get undressed
5. then scoop him up and get him in the bath
6. and hopefully he won't splash too much so you won't get soaked every night

then feed him dinner, then the parents play with him a bit, and i clean up, save food, clean up, load up dishwasher, then it's to say good night to the boy

then i sit down and go

OMG I CAN"T DO THIS I DON"T KNOW WHY I EVEN WANT TO GET MARRIED

and repeat...daily...

i love my little piano students. one had an outburst of frustration the other night and somehow, we managed to finish learning the christmas carol (i'm having all my piano students learn christmas carols before christmas so they can play for their families & friends!), albeit bouts of "NO!!!"s and tears & hiccups.

in that moment, i think "am i really cut out for this?" but that moment is gone when the kid is all dried up, happy to have accomplished something (however painful - for those 3 bars).

i'm grateful for parents too who stay away to let me battle it out with their kids!

all in all, i am blessed to do this! thank you my BIG DADDY!

i was looking for an old personal file on my computer and i found this (pasted below). i don't understand why i wrote this. where did this come from?!!?!? did i even write this??? i'm so weirded out...

The story begins where nobody can hear.

 

Have you ever sit in an empty room all by youself? Or worse, a room full of people, yet strangely still and empty. Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. Now you’re getting it.

 

Now picture this. This is where you’d find a Thomas. Yes, just A Thomas, a singular person whose name is Thomas.

 

Thomas likes to sit alone - whether in school or in his own small room - to ponder. Ponder, you say. What is he pondering about?

 

Well, Thomas likes to talk to his imagery friends who likes to ponder. So you see, it’s not exactly Thomas who is pondering.

 

The friends of Thomas are an opinionated - albeit invisible - bunch. They like to ponder and wonder. Thomas really likes to leave all his pondering and wondering to his friends. That way, he really doesn’t have to ponder or wonder at all!

 

One day, quite bored of his friends pondering and wondering so much around him, Thomas picked up his telephone and called “411.” That’s right, four-one-one: what you’d dial to get information on somebody’s telephone number.

 

“Hello, May I help you?” said a voice from the other end. Thomas replied “Hello there. This is Thomas.”

 

“Well, Thomas, may I help you find a number? Who are you trying to call?”

 

“I am not sure...I have all my friends here in the room, so I don’t need to call.”

 

“Thomas, how lucky you are to have all your friends in your room! Is today your birthday?”

 

“No it isn’t...May I ask you a question?”

 

“Why, aren’t you a polite little boy. Yes, what is it Thomas?”

 

“May I call you every day? I like making new friends.”

 

“Well, I suppose you can, Thomas. But whenever you dial 4-1-1, you will never reach the same person twice. Do you understand what I mean?”

 

“Yes, but do you think I can call this number every day?”

 

“Yes Thomas. You can. Well, you should go back to your friends, Thomas. They must be lonely without you.”

 

“Thank you...and good-bye!”

 

“Good bye Thomas.”

8:30 AM service is da best. it's totally quiet. not a soul stirring!