i have many friends in their 20's who are single. i have almost none in the 30's.

i thought about how i felt in my early 20's:

• i wanted bf really badly. that's all i wanted. i'd play cool, but the bottom line was, i wanted a bf.
• i really wanted to look good for the opposite sex. i worked hard for it: worked out, watched my diet, made sure i was all "in" and "cute" in terms of latest fashion, gadgets, etc.
• i used to take baths - just for no reason and prolly cuz i had so much time to waste.
• i wanted to be rich and impress people.
• i knew of christ - but i wasn't his.

now, i'm semi-mature in my 30's, here's my advice to all my young friends:

• it's okay to want a bf or a gf. just don't try to make an idol out of that (i know you can't help it, but pray for discernment...and with help controlling your hormones!). and just because you're a devout christian does not immune you from sexual urges - so be aware. awareness is a key to understanding temptations.
• beauty is so fleeting - and the standard of beauty changes constantly. have your own standard of beauty. how does s/he look to you when they're out drinking and partying? how does s/he look to you when they're worshipping and be glorified in god?
• it's okay to be want to become rich. just don't try to focus on that goal solely and god will provide - so you won't be destitute etc. ambition is an admirable thing, i think, because that comes with discipline. if you have the discipline to be ambitious, you have the discipline to follow christ
• have friends who are older than you (perhaps not wiser than you, as they're still learning too) and try to listen and follow their advice. it's not in vain that they give their voices to you

i had a grown woman, in her 50's, who friended to me in my freshman year of school and she still is, perhaps not as close as before. but she invited me to her house, had me interact with her family, and she gave me some practical advice, but since she wasn't a christian, she didn't guide me with christ's words. but even that was such a blessing to me, a 17/18 year old girl in a city who didn't know anybody. so with fondness i remember of her kindness as i try to open my life to my young friends.

wouldn't it be great if we always listened to the wise and the older? by the time we usually realize this, we're in our 50's, 60's. we human beings are too proud, too self-sufficient. i hope my young friends will take advantage of their fellow (but older) brothers and sisters at church to ask questions and to ask advice. that's what a real community's for.