more than ever, i think i need to bunker down and start praying for my future. one clear goal in mind is to become a full time piano teacher. i just cannot do it here in nyc.

i've always been lazy about my prayers about my future: mate, direction, work. but it's time that i really get realistic and do H(ASK).

i'm figuring that in a couple of years, my greencard will come through, and by that time, all my credit & school debts will be gone. that'll be timely for me to perhaps move to another metropolitan city where it has a huge 'burb (thereby needing music teachers), perhaps pick up a high-paying assistant job somewhere to start saving, get to know the area, and slowly get adjusted to commuting by car/getting to know a good area for kids, etc. etc.

granted this is all talking outta my fat arse - because i know that i can continue to struggle and wanting this and that...but because of God's Perfect Timing & Planning, this may just be (another) waste of a post/thought/wish.

or perhaps i'm starting to get a grip on the word FOCUS at this old age!!!

suddenly i'm sad to thinking about leaving NYC after 20 years (by that time)...leaving my church and my friends. but alas, 4th chapter of my life, whether in NYC or elsewhere, will start, perhaps sooner than later.

God will provide. Faith.